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For their generation, the male porn star and his eternal boner symbolize what it means to be a man in the 21st century.
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These young men I hear from grew up online. This has always been a dream of mine and I would do anything for a chance. They were at war with themselves, their cocks their weapons, a semen-stained sofa in a rented mansion atop a hill in the San Fernando Valley their chosen battlefield – for reasons that, in the end, escaped me, a woman. As grown-ups, they had enslaved themselves to our collective masculine ideal, forever trying to fulfill it, forever failing to do so. They appeared suspended between male adolescence and adulthood, caught in the net of those pubescent days when sex is everything, girls are an obsession, and showing what a stud you are makes you the king of your brethren. You could describe the feelings I had toward them as a kind of romantic longing, one that is never meant to be realized. They were smooth talkers, women worshipers, looking for love. I flirted with them, and I wrote down the things they said in a notebook. I have had conversations with men who work in porn during which they were naked, sweaty and dribbling spunk from scenes in which they had just performed. The men who email me do not remind me of male porn stars I have known. I am looking to pay for school in these tough times. Truth be told, it is very difficult for men to break into the porn business (unless one rides on the coattails of a female who wants to be a porn star, a scenario with its own set of complications) many of the men who work in porn do not make a lot of money ($150 to $300 for a scene is not uncommon) and what it takes to be a male porn star (to wit: get up, get in, get off) is, for lack of a better word, hard. I do not have a magic wand that can turn them into male porn stars.
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I download their emails in a home office with a desk, a filing cabinet and a garbage can for recycling. One addressed his email to “Sir.” For the record, I am a woman. I don't have any adult industries phone numbers how can I find the number?
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They all want to know the same thing: How can I be a male porn star? They believe I can introduce them to an agent/producer/figurehead in the porn industry who will cast them in an adult movie to which everyone will masturbate, ostensibly. The majority of the men are straight a few are gay. Typically, their emails are not very well written. They are looking for work, they decided male porn star is the job they would like to do, they need money and believe this is the best way to get it. Of those who mention their age, most are in their 20s. Their letters arrive from all over the world: Florida, Suriname, Pakistan. Hello sir i want to be a porn star so i want to make a porn movie. Most of the traffic is organic and comes from Google searches in other words, those who find it are searching for some combination of “male,” “porn” and “star.” Every week, I get emails from men I have never met, who have read the post, who want me to tell them how they can become male porn stars, too. Every day, it gets several thousand more. Recently, the post surpassed 1,000,000 views. Only one of them couldn’t think of anything difficult about his line of work – James Deen, arguably the most famous male porn star working today, who declared his occupation “pretty easy.” Their answers varied from the mundane (“The hardest thing about being a male porn star is convincing your female co-workers that you are an interesting, well-rounded, fun guy who they might consider dating in a parallel universe after a few drinks”) to the mechanical (“The most difficult part about being a male porn star is the hard-on”). I had sent emails to several male porn stars, asking them about the most challenging aspects of their job. On April 23, 2012, I published a post on my Forbes blog: “The Hardest Thing About Being a Male Porn Star.” I don’t remember what prompted the idea for the post, other than the fact that I have been covering the adult movie industry for more than a decade and have long been interested in how its male performers navigate a business in which they play second fiddle to its real stars: women.